Today marks the inaugural post of my Case File series. In this series, I shall present the story of someone who's experiences I find inspiring or relevant in my life at the moment.
For my first post, I present to you, the beautiful model & actress Amber Valletta, who has been incredibly brave in sharing her daily struggles in dealing with addiction. Watch her talk about it Here.
I think the part about her story that hit home the most was the idea of turning in on oneself - of self-reflection. While I've spoken about this in previous posts, I think it's an idea worth re-visiting everyday, as a reminder. We live in an age where every aspect of our life seems to be filled with over-stimulation. With instant gratification. With addiction.
We have a tendency to seek more, want more, trying to find happiness in things outside of ourselves rather than within. It is clear that loving oneself is incredibly important. When we continuously try and find happiness in external things, we unconsciously attach a value to that thing, "Oh, I'll be happy once I get that insert desire here ." Once we achieve that, we realize that it isn't enough, we need more. So you got that promotion, what about that car, and then that house? You're valuing your happiness by what you have and what you don't have, not by who you are. This is probably why most of us have trouble saying that we're happy, and happiness is something we continually aspire to have.
Addiction likes to operate in the same way. You have your first hit, and the high keeps you coming back for more. Soon, the high has your entire being in thrall. It becomes both a psychological and physiological need - a part of you.
Much in the way that our happiness should be based on the love we have for ourselves, fighting against addiction is mostly a psychological battle that only works if one does it for themselves. An addict can successfully overcome their addiction when they realize their life has worth and that they need to change for themselves. Wanting to change for a loved one, while admirable, is not always enough.
Addiction and self-loathing tend to go hand-in-hand, which is why it is so important to dismantle stigma surrounding addiction. If people can be more open to discussing the issues surrounding addiction, and treat people with addictions with the same level of kindness and respect they would show anyone else, it may go a long way to helping them in their fight against it. Addiction isn't something you can just turn off, it's not easy to stop, and it's not all about will power. Much of our ability to fight addiction really boils down to whether or not we love ourselves enough to want to change. The feeling of being worthy, and being deserving of a good life is of incredible importance as part of the healing process. And as one begins to find themselves worthy of better, it doesn't mean the self-loathing just goes away. It's a constant struggle. It's also why showing kindness to everyone around us is so incredibly important. You never know what someone is going through.
I hope you found Amber's talk as thought-provoking as I did. Please share her story, you never know who it may help.